New Formula One Eco Rules Taking Shape

St. Patrick's' Day isn't just for drinking fine brews and chasing
leprechauns.

A Day after the 2014 season opener in Melbourne, the rules committee for
Formula One has begun a draft of new "green" parameters, these
parameters to be completed in the next several days for implementation
by all teams by 2016. The rules come from the collaboration of heads of
Formula One and an elite committee of the most influential climate and
environmental scientists out there.

"These things don't take much thought, but rather a heart for the planet"
says Dr. Ian Blacksmith, "the countryside should not further suffer where
damage can be prevented"

"Prevention is one thing", adds Sven "Algore" Rasston, "we have begun
the process of creating a set of parameters where these vehicles will
actually improve the environment as they provide entertainment for those
who appreciate motor racing. I'm not a fan, but I can be an advocate" he
chuckled.

Considering air quality for example, the group is fine tuning the
wording that would mandate that the airflow across any wings, and under
the car would be cleaner behind the car than it was in front. "We've
contacted the engineers at "The Sharper Image" for the  team engineers,
to provide their technology for easy adaptation under the car and wings.
"With their "quiet airflow" technology, a committee member adds, that
will be accomplishing three goals, eh? Noise reduction, energy
efficiency and clean, purified air."

Another set of rules addresses the damage done when a driver goes off
track and into the grass.  "We've come up with a repair and replant
mandate, similar to repairing your divot when golfing" says Dr.
Blacksmith. "The driver would simply deploy a switch located somewhere,
where there is not currently a switch, that would scatter grass seed, and
recycled moisture, as the incident took place.  If it was a particularly
high speed, heading-into-the-wall type incident, any organic release from
the driver into his drivers suit in panicked response would be recycled
onto the area as well, via appropriate tubing and switching by the
driver."

Other issues under consideration include Catch and Release of insects
that may be in the path of the cars as they round the track, and banning
leather footwear, totes, camera bags and belts by spectators.  "We don't
want the sole responsibility to be on the teams, the spectators need to do
their part as well." says Robbie MacLight. "I know Stella McCartney and
she would approve, and possibly design a line of FanGear as well!

"F1 will cooperate in any way it can to quickly draft and mandate", says
F1 chief, Bernie Ecclestone, "It will keep the teams busy..".



Vicki


But what about housing the homeless ?

John



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