New Formula One Eco Rules Taking Shape

St. Patrick's' Day isn't just for drinking fine brews and chasing
leprechauns.

A Day after the 2014 season opener in Melbourne, the rules committee
for Formula One has begun a draft of new "green" parameters, these
parameters to be completed in the next several days for
implementation by all teams by 2016. The rules come from the
collaboration of heads of Formula One and an elite committee of the
most influential climate and environmental scientists out there.

"These things don't take much thought, but rather a heart for the
planet" says Dr. Ian Blacksmith, "the countryside should not further
suffer where damage can be prevented"

"Prevention is one thing", adds Sven "Algore" Rasston, "we have
begun the process of creating a set of parameters where these
vehicles will actually improve the environment as they provide
entertainment for those who appreciate motor racing. I'm not a fan,
but I can be an advocate" he chuckled.

Considering air quality for example, the group is fine tuning the
wording that would mandate that the airflow across any wings, and
under the car would be cleaner behind the car than it was in front.
"We've contacted the engineers at "The Sharper Image" for the  team
engineers, to provide their technology for easy adaptation under the
car and wings. "With their "quiet airflow" technology, a committee
member adds, that will be accomplishing three goals, eh? Noise
reduction, energy efficiency and clean, purified air."

Another set of rules addresses the damage done when a driver goes
off track and into the grass.  "We've come up with a repair and
replant mandate, similar to repairing your divot when golfing" says
Dr. Blacksmith. "The driver would simply deploy a switch located
somewhere, where there is not currently a switch, that would scatter
grass seed, and recycled moisture, as the incident took place.  If it
was a particularly high speed, heading-into-the-wall type incident,
any organic release from the driver into his drivers suit in panicked
response would be recycled onto the area as well, via appropriate
tubing and switching by the driver."

Other issues under consideration include Catch and Release of
insects that may be in the path of the cars as they round the track,
and banning leather footwear, totes, camera bags and belts by
spectators.  "We don't want the sole responsibility to be on the
teams, the spectators need to do their part as well." says Robbie
MacLight. "I know Stella McCartney and she would approve, and
possibly design a line of FanGear as well!

"F1 will cooperate in any way it can to quickly draft and mandate",
says F1 chief, Bernie Ecclestone, "It will keep the teams busy..".



Vicki


But what about housing the homeless ?

John



Is that a Formula 1 engine I hear?  No.  It's just an eco.
jd